The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
The sun came out and dried up all the rain
And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again
Oh, Harvard’s run by Wellesley and Welleslsey’s run by Yale
Yale is run by Vasser and Vasser’s run by tail
Harvard’s full of pretty boys and drunkards go to Penn
But far above Cayuga there’s a race of hairy men
We are the race (dates) of hairy-chested men
Uh hairy-chested men, uh hairy-chested men
We are the race of uh hairy-chested men
We are from Cornell
If I had a prick of steel and balls of solid brass
I’d find a marble statue, and ram it up her ass
We’d breed a race of giants, who’d roam throughout the land
To swell the glorious chorus of “the Quakers be damned.”