[Thomas:]
Most kids walked through life but I sang and danced
I believed I was Tarzan, I never wore pants
[Jon:]
Excuse me?
[Thomas:]
Nothing
Everyone around me could see
That Disney meant everything
And as I grew up
Disney did too
They bought every franchise from here to Batoo
Look at their assets, you’ll see
[Jon:]
Damn!
They bought everything
[Thomas:]
They’ve got bachelors and quiz shows a-plenty
[Jon:]
I’m a confirmed bachelor
[Thomas:]
They’ve got Groot and Black Panther and Thor
[Jon:]
And Captain America
[Thomas:]
[Explicit:] And Captain America’s ass
[Clean:] And Captain America’s butt
[Thomas & Jon:]
Mmm
[Thomas:]
You want a new Star Wars movie? How about 20? And several TV shows. And a theme park
[Jon:]
Okay, yeah, enough
[Thomas:]
But who cares?
[Jon:]
No big deal
[Thomas & Jon:]
I want more
[Thomas:]
I want a gay Disney prince
With footwork so thrilling
[Jon:]
I slay without killing
[Thomas:]
A rich boy
[Jon:]
Who still loves to work
[Thomas:]
A man who spills tea
[Jon:]
Not the blood of enemies
[Thomas:]
Disney don’t shoot so straight
You’re in the musical scene
[Jon:]
Time to toss out the princess and bring in a queen
[Thomas & Jon:]
Today is the day to say, “Hey,” to a gay Disney prince
[Thomas:]
Every prince in the past
[Jon:]
Just straight vanilla
[Thomas:]
Let’s add rainbow sprinkles
[Jon:]
And a shot of tequila
[Thomas:]
A gay guy who’s gaze would fit clean on a three dollar bill
A prince who will put every woman at ease
[Jon:]
Cause I won’t try and kiss them while they are asleep
[Thomas:]
A guy who likes guys who is still humanized in his
[Thomas & Jon:]
Film!
[Thomas:]
Yaaaas
I want a gay Disney prince
[Jon:]
He wants a gay Disney prince
[Explicit:] Disney, get some bad bitches
[Clean:] Disney, don’t be suspicious
[Thomas:]
Try the gay stuff, it’s delicious!
Please give us more than this bullsh
[Jon:]
Yeah, that’s a bit screwy
[Thomas:]
Makes me say Lefouey
[Jon:]
Put me in a film
[Thomas:]
Gee, that would be swell
[Jon:]
I’m Peter Pan-sexual
[Thomas:]
No you’re twinkerbell
It’s just breeders in theatres I can’t help but belt
Who is that prince I see?
Very straight, unlike me
[Jon:]
A whole new world
A bedazzling place you yearn to view
I’d be so gay up here
[Thomas:]
It’s crystal queer
[Jon:]
Bless my hole, twerking on a pole
[Thomas:]
Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I got carried away, that’s on me
If only I’d had you in my early years
I might have seemed less weird to my non-queer peers
Who’d mature into parents, understanding and warm
Knowing hetero-ever-after doesn’t have to be the norm
[Jon:]
If they’d have seen
[Thomas:]
Someone like me
[Thomas & Jon:]
A gay Disney prince