All right, Milwaukee, let’s fucking do this shit. Here we go.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Here we go again
Come on
I’m heading out
And all I’m taking with me
Is my phone, wallet, keys
Yeah, phone, wallet, keys
Just those three things, please Need my phone, wallet, keys
Got my credit cards in my wallet
Got my phone, you can call it
Masterlock on my front door
That’s what my motherfucking keys Are for
My phone, wallet, keys
Yeah, phone, wallet, keys
Good things come in threes Need my phone, wallet, keys
If I’m going to the zoo I need my phone, wallet, keys
If I’m getting a face tattoo I need my phone, wallet, keys
If I’m going out to a wedding If it’s winter time and I’m sledding
If I’m at the Daddy-Daughter dance My phone, wallet, keys are in my pants
I’m going on vacation To the West Indies
And I don’t got no luggage
Just got phone, wallet, keys
I roll on up to the airport
Lady asks for my passport
Fuck. Okay.
Guess I need my phone Wallet, passport, keys
Phone, wallet, passport, keys
Now I need four things, bitch, please Phone, wallet, passport, keys
I’m finally on the plane I’m riding Delta, Delta
The lady farted next to me
I smelled her, I smelled her
We get to 30, 000 feet
I recline my fucking seat
About to watch a movie, stop
I forgot my laptop
Mm, motherfucker
Damn it
Now I need my laptop Phone, wallet, passport, keys
Laptop, phone, wallet, passport, keys
Too much shit, five fucking things
Laptop, phone, wallet, passport, keys I’m swinging my shit all over the place
I’m hurting ya, I’m hurting ya
I’m carrying so much shit
I got a hernia, a hernia
No place to put it, what can I do? Probably should take my iPad too
What the fuck else did I forget?
Sandman, you need tons of shit
My Tic Tacs, my backpack
My Zippo lighter, my charge pack My sunglasses, my hairspray
My headphones
They’re Beats by Dre
My notebook, my GoPro My vape pen, my crossbow
My toothpick, my pocket knife
Oh, fuck, I forgot my wife
([Man:] Phone, wallet, keys)
God damn
Phone, wallet, keys
It used to be so easy
With my phone, my wallet And my keys-ee
Phone, wallet, keys, yeah Phone, wallet, keys
It used to be a breez-ee
With my phone, my wallet And my keys-ee
My pockets got so heavy Now I’m cramping, I’m cramping
Each time I leave my house It’s like I’m camping, I’m camping
I’m miserable, just standing around I’m like a walking lost and found
You know I’d rather stay at home
Where all I need’s my fucking phone
[Man] Phone, phone, phone
Yeah
Phone, phone, phone
Much happier at home
Just playing with my phone
Phone, phone, phone
Yeah
Phone, phone, phone
Yeah, I’ll just stay at home
And fiddle with my phone on the toilet [laughter]
[Cheering]
I’m gonna do my first mic drop.